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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said

  (770): View more from Georgia

  she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to

  (404): View more from Georgia

  You KNEW her power was out...

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me

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• (214): View more from Texas

  If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you

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• (949): View more from California

  Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Steaks?

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's Ash Wednesday.

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?

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• (954): View more from Florida

  Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  at least it's not cocaine like last time

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