I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
