So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
