We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
