I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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