You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
