You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
