You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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