Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
