awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
