Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
