clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
