and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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