I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
