i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize