it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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