The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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