eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
