is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize