Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I had to cum in my sink.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
