you lied. pity sex is amazing.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
