yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
