you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
