there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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