Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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