so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
whose parrot is this?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
