So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
