A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
