grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
