the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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