that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
