More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
