I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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