I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
