btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Randomize
