Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Randomize
