its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
