how can u be prego again
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
