I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
