Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
