think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
