I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
