how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
