So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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