I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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