White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize