I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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