Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
