Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
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