No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
you inspire me to be a worse person
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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