I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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