You really coming over, don't trick.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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