I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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