Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
