: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
