Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
