If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
