I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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