i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
What a dumb baby whore.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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