There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize