Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
