My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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