new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
