Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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