Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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