just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
