What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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